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THE ARRIVAL OF THE BUTTERFLIES

Butterflies in the belly

Butterflies in the belly

Dennis and two of his friends entered Desiree supermarket to buy a particular after-shave recommended by a colleague at the office. While trying to pick some little choppies from another section of the supermarket,he found himself standing next to a gorgeous damsel.

Dayuum! She was beautiful, she looked like something out of a magazine cover.
Dennis couldn’t hold back, he just kept staring at her and then when she looked up, he spoke. ‘hello cutie’, Dennis said.

With a smile that competed with the sunshine,she said, ‘hi’. Dennis quickly introduced himself, mehn! you should have heard her voice when she said “ I’m Isabelle”. Dennis was completely blown away, no name would have been more appropriate for a creature with such an angelic face.

Isabelle gave Dennis her card when he requested and he also gave his to her. She was into event planning and management. After leaving the premises, Dennis could still picture Isabelle’s face in his mind’s eye. He could already feel the butterflies in his tummy. He and Isabelle had two dates and on the third date, he asked her out and luckily, beautiful Isabelle accepted. The butterflies kept dancing around his tummy, he was overjoyed.

I’m sure you have once had this feeling right? LOL. Why not share with me? Don’t be shy jor

Just like D’banj said ‘Don’t get it twisted love is a beautiful thing’. Love can be a beautiful feeling. It starts with that magical attraction of meeting someone and feeling connected to that person almost immediately. You just start to have that fluttery feeling in your tummy and those around you might even notice an instant change in your mood.

It is that thing that causes you to glow and shine in a very unusual way. It is that thing that makes a lady’s eyes sparkle and makes a man smile from ear to ear, like a cheshire cat. At the arrival of the butterflies, you become vulnerable, you can do almost anything to get the attention of him/her. To get them to accept you.

Oh well!….if only the butterflies stayed forever *sad face* at some point the butterflies might decide to leave and it all becomes normal again. That magical effect he/she has on you might gradually reduce and at some point fade out. Sometimes the butterflies in the tummy IS NOT love, it might just be mere physical attraction.

However, it’s a PHASE….Enjoy the arrival of the butterflies.

Keep the love in your hearts. WELCOME TO FEBRUARY…. The VALENTINE month.

Make it a memorable one….Try not to miss the articles for this month and share them with your loved ones. Its the Season of LOVE.

Have a LOVELY week

Love,

L’queen

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This article was written by Tolulope L’queen Lemikan.
Tolu is a writer, with passion for the subject “LOVE”, she is a freelance writer on relationships for some other blogs and magazines.

Follow her on twitter: @lqueeen

Like the official facebook page : http://www.facebook.com/Lqueensblog

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SHE’S THE MAN

Enjoying the cool afternoon breeze, Ona got out of her office to have lunch. On getting to the cafeteria, it was quite crowded. She left the cafeteria and decided to go to the eatery down the road.

Entering the premises, she parked behind a grey Honda civic, in a way that would obstruct the owner upon his/her exit. After buying her food,she rushed back to the parking lot and saw a youngman (the owner of the Honda Civic) waiting for the owner of the Highlander to reverse, so he could leave the premises. Ona apologised to the youngman. But mehn! The guy was a sight to behold, he had very radiant eyes and a smile that can light up a room. They talked for a while, exchanged cards and afterwards each person drove off.

His name was Vincent and he was really cute, as in really cute. He works as the manager of a medium scale enterprise not too far from Ona’s office. Ona on the other hand, works as a senior supervisor at Eldorado Plc. Although pretty young, she had risen fast to the top of her career. She was a good example of Miss Independent. Before long, Ona and Vincent started having lunch together most times at the same eatery where they met. Since the attraction was mutual, a relationship soon sprung up between them.

Ona was happy about her relationship and decided to share the news with her friends. However, the responses she got from them were far different from what she expected. One of her friends,Erica said ‘he doesn’t belong in your class, Ona’. Tochi, a friend and colleague said, ‘you better be careful of all these good looking poor guys, I’m sure your salary is three times more than what he earns’. That statement kept ringing in Ona’s heart. However, Ona and Vincent kept on with their relationship. Vincent was such a sweetheart, he treated Ona like a princess and she was beginning to love him.

It was really difficult for Ona because, her friends and most importantly her family were against the relationship. Her mother would say, ‘Ona you are the one marrying a wife oh because whoever earns more money, is the man of the home’. The only person who didn’t see things from that perspective was Ona’s eldest brother, he always advised her not to listen to anyone, as long as it felt right,she should carry on. He would always say, ‘things will definately get bettter for Vincent so long as he is hardworking’. That was the only person who stood by Ona and gave words of encouragement.

Dear reader, what are your thoughts on this? As a lady, can you marry a man who earns lesser than you do? Guys, can you enter into a relationship with a lady who earns three times your monthly salary? Does it really matter?

When I heard this story,I remembered the Michelle and Barack Obama love story. They met at a law firm in Chicago, she was way ahead of him and she was supposed to be his tutor when he came in as a summer associate but from there their love story began and now he’s no longer that same summer associate, he is the President of the United States and for that reason she is the First Lady of the United States.

In the seventh verse of the eigth chapter of the book of Job, the bible says ‘Though your beginning is small, your latter end shall greatly increase’. As far as I am concerned, we should not despise the days of humble beginnings, he might not have it all now but if he has great potentials then he will have a bright future. Many a times, we ladies are carried away by the things we see, forgetting that the worth of a man is not based on the value of his possessions.
Anyone has the capacity to become anything, so do not look at what you see on the outside. There is more to a person than what the eyes can see.

Enough of my opinion, I don’t wanna preach here…..what is your opinion on this? Does class/rank/status really matter in love? Does the fact that a woman earns more in a relationship/marriage make her the man?

Please I really wanna hear from you this time…READ,SHARE AND COMMENT.

It might help someone else out there.

Have a wonderful week.

Love,

L’queen.

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This article was written by Tolulope L’queen Lemikan.
Tolu is a writer, with passion for the subject “LOVE”, she is a freelance writer on relationships for some other blogs and magazines.
Follow her on twitter: @lqueeen

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THE HEART AND THE BEATINGS

HeartBeat

HeartBeat

If you are familiar with Banky W’s Strong thing or Yes/no, I’m sure you must have heard the line ‘you dey make my heart go gbim gbim / you dey make my heart go jim kelele’, its his own way of saying his heart is beating for that particular person. A lot of us also use that to express love for someone, by saying ‘my heart beats for you’. I used to have one stalker in my uni days who would always say ‘Tolu my heart is beating for you’ and I’ll laugh and cry all at once. It sounded very funny to me then. Well, what I wanna talk about today is a tad different from that…

Back in uni days, I had this flat mate, lets call her ‘Lawumi’. She was in a relationship with this guy from her pre-degree till I left. I was a year ahead of her, so I really don’t know if they are still together now.

Lawumi loved this Dara guy with everything she had, you could say that her heart was actually beating for him. She is a very good cook and she always prepared sumptuous meals for him. I remember she had this brown cooler that she used in offering cooler ministration to Dara everyday. On weekends, Lawumi will prepare a big pot of soup and turn it into that particular brown cooler and then she’ll leave the hostel to spend the weekend in Dara’s place. I really can’t tell if Dara used to give her money to prepare those meals.

On this particular weekend, I saw Lawumi in the hostel,that was very unusual. Since Lawumi and I were kinda close, I asked her if Dara travelled and then she said he didn’t. I just kept quiet and continued staring at her,I could tell something was wrong from the furtive look on her face,after a while she had no choice but to tell me what was wrong. Lawumi showed me a mark on her face which was previously covered by her long rose-deep weavon. Believe me, the mark was really bad. It was almost as red as the inside of an agbalumo fruit. Lawumi is dark in complexion( although not so dark) but the red mark on her face was rather too obvious for a dark person which means, Dara must have hit her so hard.

She narrated how Dara beat her because she forgot the keys to his house in the hostel and he needed to pick up something urgently. She said he had temper problems and that whenever he was angry, he can hit her with anything. I was speechless. Why would a guy keep beating the lady who loves him so much? The annoying thing was that, after almost an hour of speaking to Lawumi, she still kept making excuses for him and blaming herself for forgetting the keys.

‘Tolu, I love Dara with all my heart, its just this his temper issue, he’s a very nice guy’, Lawumi kept saying. Ohh!! Please… nice guy my foot, I thought.

Lo and behold! On Sunday afternoon, Dara came in company of his friends to apologize to Lawumi. He prostrated and pleaded with her. Lawumi, in tears accepted his apology and hugged him. Before my very eyes, she dished out food into that brown cooler again and left the hostel with Dara.
I just stayed in my room, watching them leave. I kept shaking my head all afternoon, I could almost cry for my dear Lawumi. A beautiful girl hurting herself in the name of love.

Just like Lawumi, so many people are going through stuff like this. I remember that movie, ‘private storm’, it’s a fictional example of this kind of experience.

For how long will this continue? Why would a lady choose to remain in an abusive relationship? For God sake, he hasn’t even put a ring on it, even if he has, as far as I am concerned, only a cowardly man beats a woman. Yes! you love him with all your heart but Sister your brain should also be involved. How long will you keep giving love from your heart and keep getting beatings in exchange? It is important that a woman never allows loneliness or fear to coerce her into vulnerability in the hands of a dangerous man.

Dearest Gentle-men, why would you say your heart is beating for a lady and after she gives you her heart you give her beatings in return? The essence of love is to give to each other and provide a secure place where both of you can grow together. Its not about beatings or injury of any kind…Y’heard??
Please don’t hit a woman…its absolutely wrong.
Dear reader, what are your thoughts on this? Let’s hear you…Read,Comment and Share.

Have an amazing week.

Love,
L’queen

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This article was written by Tolulope L’queen Lemikan.
Tolu is a writer, with passion for the subject “LOVE”, she is a freelance writer on relationships for some other blogs and magazines.
Follow her on twitter: @lqueeen

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BEFORE YOU SAY I DO

Marry Me

Marry Me

2013: weddings, more weddings, mooore weddings…

2012 was a very great year. It greeted us with sooooo many weddings right from January all the way to December. Personally I attended so many weddings last year, weddings of friends,family friends,cousins,church members etc. I still attended a wedding on the 29th of December 2012.

To God be the glory, 2013 is here and I know so many people preparing to walk down the aisle this year *winks*.So many people have already tied the knot this year. It is really amazing, knowing that you’ll be spending the rest of your life with someone you really love. Congratulations y’all. Please invite me oh! Y’all know I love weddings *covers face*

However, before you say I do, there are a few things I wanna bring to your remembrance. We all know that marriage is the only school or institution where you receive the certificate before you resume. The wedding ceremony is just for a day, but marriage is FOREVER. The wedding will be attended by a crowd but it is only you and your spouse that will sail through the marriage boat through the stormy weather, when it is smooth and when the tide comes.

So just before you say I do, how much do you know? And do you agree with all that you know about him/her? Agreement is the basis of LOVE. I love the scripture in the third verse of the third book of Amos that says ‘Can two walk together except they agree?’

There’s this message by Pst Mrs Bimbo Odukoya of blessed memory that I always love to listen to, I would like to share a few things from it with you. Before that, it is essential to realize that you and your lover have strengths and weaknessses. Once you say I do, you are not only accepting the strengths, the weaknesses are inclusive. It is important that during the course of your relationship, you discuss so many issues. A relationship shouldn’t just be about ‘you are the love of my life, the apple of my life….blah, blah, blah. It’s a time to discuss and share your views on life issues.

The following are worthy of discussion:
CAREER/AMBITION AND GOALS: It is essential to share your goals and aspirations with your partner, so that you don’t get married and then surprises start to set in. Some men will say once she has my kids, she can’t work. Share details of your career path and what it really entails. Make marriage goals together; number of kids, child spacing etc
VERBAL INTIMACY/COMMUNICATION AND TOGETHERNESS: Ensure that your partner also believes that there should be communication and verbal intimacy so that each of you can express your minds from time to time. Talk about the amount of time you should spend together because some people have jobs that keep them away for months and sometimes years. Talk about it now!
FINANCIAL/MONETARY ISSUES: Ensure that you have a proper understanding of how your partner spends, his/her views on spending and investment. If you are about to marry an expensive lady, please make sure there’s enough money in the account…Talk about financial allocation or family budget, family vacation, children’s education and upkeep. This is really important because money issues have broken a lot of homes.
SOCIAL RELATIONSHIPS: Talk about your relationship with friends and family members after marriage. Talk about the possibility of siblings or parents coming to live with you after marriage. Talk about how to deal with in-laws.
SOCIAL BEHAVIOUR: Talk about your individual habits or behaviours; drinking, smoking and clubbing. Share your views on all these to know what he/she feels about such things.
SUBMISSION AND RESPECT: Share your views on the level of submission and respect you require in marriage because it differs in families and cultures.
PHILOSOPHY OF LIFE: Talk about your religious beliefs,general opinions and biases.
ISSUES IN THE HOME: Talk about the cooking,laundry and cleanliness of the house. Some ladies will say they can’t cook everyday, that the man should also enter the kitchen. Hmmnn talk about it now oh! Some people cannot hand wash clothes it’s either you buy a washing machine or you send the clothes to the dry-cleaner. Talk about it now!
WEAKNESSES AND STRENGTHS: Talk about each other’s weaknesses, some people have weaknesses like pride, anger, stinginess,unfriendliness etc. talk about them. Its also important to talk about your strengths, one of the good things about marriage is that one partner can complement the other. I have seen couples that the husband is very shy but the wife is very bold and outspoken. Each one will cover for the other.
HOBBIES AND INTERESTS: We all have different hobbies and interests. It is important, that your partner knows what your’s are. Sports: football, table-tennis, basktet-ball, golf etc. Music: Rhythm and blues, Rap, classical, country, rock etc Movies: action, comedy,romance,sci-fi etc
HEALTH ISSUES: Talk about health issues, the kind of medical consultancy you use. Some believe Government owned hospitals have better and more qualified doctors while some only visit private hospitals. Some people don’t believe in taking medication, they just pray. Talk about it now! Talk about weight issues too, some like orobo while some want lepa for life. Well, talk about it coz when the babies come, she might grow fat oh!
HABITS: Talk about the good habits
Time to sleep/ time to wake up: some people sleep by 12am and wake up by 5am and they are ok, while some sleep by 9am and still find it hard to keep their eyes open by 6. Talk about it.
Prayer: Muslims usually wake up 5am to pray, some do this faithfully while some don’t. talk about it now. Some christians wake up to pray at night, some don’t even pray at all. Talk about it now.
Meal time: some people eat very early in the morning while some don’t eat till almost mid-day. Talk about it now! .If you marry a man that eats very early in the morning, be ready to wake up early to cook for him everyday.
HOUSING/ ACCOMODATION : Some people say they can’t live outside Lagos or Abuja, some say they can only live in a duplex. Some people say they must have cooks, gate-men, gardeners and drivers in their home. Hmmnn…talk about it
FOREVER/CONDITIONAL: Some people say no matter what, my marriage is forever while some say once he cheats on me its over. Talk about it. Some say once she doesn’t have a child,I’ll marry another woman…hmmmnn. Talk about it now
There are so many other things worth discussing but these are the few I could cover. Get your partner to share every little detail with you from the past, to the present and plan for the future together. Share all the details before the big day when you’ll say ‘I DO’. Remember, forever is a looooooong time.

I wish you a great forever marriage

Have a great week.

Love,
L’queen.

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This article was written by Tolulope L’queen Lemikan.
Tolu is a writer, with passion for the subject “LOVE”, she is a freelance writer on relationships for some other blogs and magazines.
Follow her on twitter: @lqueeen

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CCT FORMULA: NEW YEAR,NEW APPROACH

Here we are…. It’s a brand new year, 2013. So fresh, so clean and without spot or wrinkle. Its time to begin to fill the pages and do things right. I am sure when you saw the title you must have been wondering what does she mean by CCT formula?…don’t you worry, I’m just about to break it down.
You know when you want to cook a kind of soup you have never cooked before or one that you have cooked before, but you are not so good at, you might need an expert to write out the list of ingredients and procedures required for that meal to be properly prepared. Now in this new year, a lot of us will be cooking the LOVE soup, so lets consider some of the ingredients to ensure we have a delicious soup.
The first C is COMMITMENT: In my own understanding, commitment first starts with AGREEMENT. The holy book talks about this in the third verse of the third chapter of the book of Amos ‘Can two walk together, except they agree?’ I believe that commitment in a relationship, is when the era of ‘ME’ or ‘I’ ends and then the era of ‘US’ or ‘WE’ begins. Commitment is when you realize that it’s not just about me anymore but about US and you make a conscious effort to consider the other person whenever you have to make decisions. It is when you become willing to make sacrifices for that person, when you don’t just remain a receiver of love but you also give out love to the other person from the very depth of your heart.
The second C is CARE: It is essential to show care in a relationship,although we all have different approaches to this. In my opinion, showing care for another is by making them realize that you are concerned about them, that you are willing to share their joy and pain with them, that you are willing to stand by them through the good or bad, happy or sad, proving to them not only in words but also in actions that they have a place in your heart. You can also show care by supporting your partner. Some people have no idea of what their partners go through on a daily basis, this is not good at all. You should always be interested in every little thing that happens to him/her, you should be their greatest cheer leader. Celebrate your partner’s achievement, correct him/her in love and also pray for him/her. So many of us don’t pray for our special someone….new year, new approach.
The T is TRUST: Trust is the basis of any healthy relationship. Looking at the word TRUST, there’s US in TRUST. Lack of trust in a relationship has the power to cripple that relationship. The real test of trust in a relationship is the ability to share your secrets,weaknesses, fears, failures and past with each other. To be able to open up completely to one another. You should tell your partner the little details of everything before something big comes out of it.
Did I hear you say I can’t do that? Believe me, its really hard to trust someone, especially when you’ve been hurt from a relationship betrayal and you have decided not to trust again. But if you continue that way, it means you are still living in the past. I had to go through a healing process to be able to trust again and live free of the restrictive force of threatning fears. I have come to discover that the key to a rich emotional life is the ability to TRUST. No matter what has happened in the past, you can trust again.
Using the right proportion of the CCT formula, will produce a delicious LOVE soup. Each partner will be happy and the roots of the relationship will grow stronger.
Use the CCT Formula TODAY!!! Y’HEARD?
I wish you the very best of LOVE in 2013
Love,
L’queen.

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This article was written by Tolulope L’queen Lemikan.
Tolu is a writer, with passion for the subject “LOVE”, she is a freelance writer on relationships for some other blogs and magazines.
Follow her on twitter: @lqueeen

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NOW THAT IT IS OVER…

Yaaay!!! Its bye bye to 2012 already! God has been faithful and we all are grateful.
Just like that, 2012 is gone. Never again will there be another 2012. Thank God the world did not end on the 21st oh…LOL. Abeg me I still want to achieve my life goals, get married and give birth to my pikin dem *covers face*
Hmmmnn from January to December, things have happened oh! I know we all have different stories to tell. As for me, if I am to describe my 2012, I would simply say it was a year of pleasure and pain. But all in all, I came out strong.
Lets talk about the gains/losses of 2012. Some people found true love this year, so many got married this year, some had babies this year, some got their dream jobs this year, some graduated this year and so much more.
Same way, some had terrible heartbreaks this year, some lost a dear one this year, some went through life-threatening illnesses this year, some broke hearts this year. Many different things have happened to each and every one of us in the course of the year 2012.
With each experience, we have learnt lessons. They say, ‘what doesn’t kill you, makes you stronger’. I strongly agree. ‘With each tear, there’s a lesson, it makes you wiser than before, makes you stronger than you know…’Na so Mary J Blige talk am. The beauty of making mistakes is our ability to learn from them and for others to also learn from them.
While we are counting our blessings, looking back at the last 365 days and all God has done for us,it is also pertinent for us to reflect on our mistakes. Let us do a little soul searching, reflect on the highs and lows of 2012. It is also important to make reconciliations. If you have hurt someone in anyway this year, I implore you to make amends. If someone has hurt you this year, please try and let it go. Its not the easiest thing to do but trust me, you don’t need that kind of baggage or let me call it gabbage in 2013. Leave the BS in 2012. To those who made mistakes in 2012, try and note them in order to avoid a repeat episode of such mistakes in the future.
To those who found love in 2012, I wish you the best of love. Keep loving like it’s the first day. Trust me, it takes courage to really love someone, so do it right.
To those who lost love, believe that all things happen for a reason. The loss of a relationship can be a traumatic experience but no matter what has happened, the only hope of a healthy future relationship is to let go of the past. The best is on the way.
To those who got married, keep the love in your hearts and don’t you ever take things for granted. You need to give your all since you’ve said the two powerful words ‘I DO’.
To those who are single, don’t feel unhappy because of that. Enjoy every bit of your alone time. Who knows? 2013 might bring you ‘THE ONE’ *winks*. Keep hope alive.
All in all, I wish you all the very best of LOVE in 2013.
We’ll all be here at the end of 2013 by God’s grace.
Odun tuntun yi asan wa si ire ati ayo o…Amin
HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!!
Love,
L’queen

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This article was written by Tolulope L’queen Lemikan.
Tolu is a writer, with passion for the subject “LOVE”, she is a freelance writer on relationships for some other blogs and magazines.
Follow her on twitter: @lqueeen

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ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS ___________

I remember a particular night back in secondary school, my BFF (best female friend) and I were talking outside and all of a sudden, she looked up and said “ Wow! see the three wishing stars”. I didn’t really believe in it but since she insisted, I looked up and made a wish. Maybe my wish didn’t come true that Christmas because I didn’t believe in it, but her’s came true that year.

I know we all have wish lists and I have mine too but there’s one particular wish I really want to come true. Ten years after, it’s almost Christmas again and although it sounds crazy, I have been looking out for the three wishing stars since the beginning of December. I only pray they come out tonight so that I can make that special wish on my Christmas wish list.
Some contacts on my BBM have been writing letters to Santa since the beginning of December. If only I could have a sneak peek of those letters, I’m sure some of them will be 5 paged type set wish lists…lol.

Just like what 2chainz wanted for his birthday, one of my BBM contacts said he wants a big booty for Christmas….what a Christmas wish though. Another of my bbm contacts said he wants $ 1 billion dollars for Christmas. Anyway they say “different strokes for different folks”. Some wish for love, some wish for happiness, some want that particular blazer, dress, shoe, diamond, Ipad,Iphone, Blackberry etc. When making all these wish lists, remember there’s a limit to what dear Santa can carry oh! Lol. We all have that one thing that we truly desire this season and it will mean so much to us if our wishes come to pass.

In the spirit of Christmas, I would encourage you not just to make wishes, but try and be the answer to someone’s prayer. Be the reason for the smile on someone’s face this season, make someone happy. One way you can find true happiness is by being the source of another’s happiness.
It could be your family; some of us have been away from home for so long. This is the time to show love to members of your own house-hold. It could be your kids or siblings; wrap the smallest gifts, it doesn’t have to be something expensive just something that can put a smile on their faces. I gave my younger brother something he had always wanted last week Wednesday and ever since then he’ll always say ‘I have the best sister in the world’ that little gesture from me, meant so much to him.

It could be your husband/wife/lover, a lot of us have been extremely busy all year and this is the time to take him/her out and do something really sweet and romantic. Last week, I saw a friend of mine packaging a lovely christmas gift for his lady and it looked so sweet. It could be a cake, chocolate box, wine, maybe a book or devotional for the next year. You can decide to take him/her out, maybe to the cinemas, to a quiet garden, to a musical concert, a special meal treat….the list goes on and on.

As for me, this Christmas I don’t just want to be blessed but I want to be a blessing. I want to be the source of someone’s happiness and above all to celebrate JESUS…the REASON for the SEASON. So tell me, what do you want for Christmas? Fill in the gap…ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS ________________________

MERRY CHRISTMAS Y’ALL
May we live to see many more Christmas seasons.
Remember, it is more blessed to give than to receive. Don’t focus on your needs alone, think of people whose needs you can help meet.

Love,
L’queen.

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This article was written by Tolulope L’queen Lemikan.
Tolu is a writer, with passion for the subject “LOVE”, she is a freelance writer on relationships for some other blogs and magazines.
Follow her on twitter: @lqueeen

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FALLING IN LOVE WITH SANTA (•͡.̮ ~͡)

SANTA

SANTA

It’s the most beautiful time of the year. The christmas season. The christmas trees have been fixed and the decorations are already set in our homes and on the streets. The kids are on holidays,expecting Santa-claus and its all together beautiful

Santa-claus is an imaginary figure who is said to bring presents to children during christmas. Simply put, Santa-claus is what we call Father Christmas here in Naija or as the yoruba’s call it ‘Baba Keresi’….LOL.

Father Christmas or Santa-claus can also be used to refer to someone who gives a lot, someone who has an open hand,very generous and kind.

My family friend told me the story of a lady, who was in a great relationship. She had all she desired in her man but along the line, she met a nice neighbour. She newly moved into the area and her cute neighbour was indeed very helpful. He was very good with cars and at that time, she had issues with her car. During that period, he’ll take her to work since their offices were not too far from each other and at the close of work, he’ll come pick her up and together they will go home.

Soon enough, the lady started having feelings for this new neighbour. She became too occupied with thoughts of him and before long, she started to neglect her own relationship. She’ll always go to him whenever she had the slightest problems and her neighbour being ‘Mr. fix it’ would always solve her problems be it financial, electrical, material etc. he was always willing to assist. They hardly spoke about their personal life but they enjoyed each other’s company and most conversations were work related.

On this very day, she went to Santa’s house to return the spare tyre he had lent her earlier in the week. As she drove in, she met a beautiful young lady doing laundry in the compound. She wasn’t expecting that, but she succeeded in hiding her surprise. She tried to respond to the lady’s greeting but the words didn’t come out right. Just then, Santa-claus came out, he must have heard the sound of a car in the compound. Smiling, he made the introductions. He introduced the other lady as his fiancé and introduced her as his new neighbour to his fiancé
Santa was smiling all through because all the while he had been helping her, he never had any ulterior motives. She on the other hand, left the compound feeling like the ground should open and swallow her….eeeya!

This happens to a lot of young women and men too, although its the women most of the time. When a guy is kind to a lady,he might not have the intention of taking it further. But ladies, being the emotional beings that we are, we already begin to have ideas in our head. You’ll hear things like ‘awwww….he’s so nice’, ‘he’s such a darling’, ‘ohhhhh…..that’s so romantic’ ,when the guy has just done something he simply regards as an act of kindness. Sometimes it could be the guy too, the fact that your cute lady neighbour brings you a cooler of food every once in a while doesn’t mean she has fallen in love with you. She might just be a kind lady who loves to cook and share with someone and that someone could be anybody else.

Now the question is, did Santa break her heart? To me, it’s a capital NO!!! she was hurt by her own assumptions.

Beware!!!….not every Santa claus , Mother Christmas or Father Christmas that offers gifts/ assistance or shows care/concern, is in love with you. Don’t break your own heart by your own assumptions.

Read, comment and SHARE!!
Merry Christmas in Advance.

Show love to the people around you this season.

Love,
L’queen.

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This article was written by Tolulope L’queen Lemikan.
Tolu is a writer, with passion for the subject “LOVE”, she is a freelance writer on relationships for some other blogs and magazines.
Follow her on twitter: @lqueeen

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…YOU CAN HAVE WHATEVER YOU LIKE…

“It’s not how much we give but how much love we put into giving.” ― Mother Teresa

It was my friend, Nnenna’s 25th birthday party,and we were all so excited to be there. Nnenna and I have been friends since Uni days and it was good to see her again as well as our other friends.

Nnenna was in a relationship with this dashing young man with a great career and a glorious bank account and she seemed very happy. She had been with this Uzodinma guy for 2 years and she always spoke well of him, although we never saw them together, only in pictures.

On this fateful day, he had sent her flowers,a cake,gift parcels and footed the bills of her birthday expenses. That was really sweet (I must say) but as the celebrant’s lover, we expected him to be there in person. We were all looking forward to meeting our friend’s lover Uzodinma, after two years of seeing him in pictures. Nnenna kept telling tales of how busy he was, his job description and that he promised to make it there before the party ended.
To cut the long story short, Uzodinma didn’t show up at the party. As concerned friends, we all stayed back to keep Nnenna company since it was weekend already.

We all fell asleep after catching up on old times. We did so much of gisting,laughing,wining and dining that night. You know how it is when you meet with friends you haven’t been with for quite a while. We also helped Nnenna clean up the house after her other guests had left. As in,we were exhausted!

I woke up a little past midnight to answer to the call of nature. While trying to keep my eyes open, I heard some sobbing sounds. Opening my eyes well enough, I saw Nnenna shedding tears quietly in one corner of her bedroom. I dragged my feet towards her,and sat beside her, waiting for her to say something. I didn’t want to talk, so as not to disturb the other girls who were soundly asleep.

After 5 minutes that felt like 50 minutes, Nnenna spoke. “How long will I continue like this?”she asked rhetorically. She narrated the story of how Uzodinma lavished her with money and gifts but deprived her of time together and attention. Nnenna explained how Uzodinma on many occcassions, apologized to her with shoes, bags and jewlleries whenever she complained of the lack of closeness in their relationship. I could almost cry with my friend,because she spoke with so much pain. I’ve never seen Nnenna that way before.

Nnenna desired love, togetherness,closeness,true friendship, time and attention from the relationship. However, Uzodinma was unable to provide that. Maybe, he felt money and gifts were enough to show her that he cared about her.

I remember that song by T.I back in 2008 ‘whatever you like’. In the video of the song, he spent lavishly on the lady buying her jewellries,buying her a car, taking her on a private jet and all the other nice things a girl could possibly dream of. Really, its nice to have a lover that gives and most girls will not stay with a stingy man. However, the money and the gifts are not the ultimate.
So many of us are guilty of this,we easily forget that money and gifts can not take the place of affection and attention. If someone truly loves you, they will desire your time and attention more than anything else, either material or monetary gifts. Your time and attention is something money can not buy.

What’s the point of being in a relationship, if you don’t see the GIVER only the GIFTS?

Won’t it feel selfish? Or let me say one-sided, to keep collecting gifts when you have no avenue to give love back.
What are your thoughts? Is it ok for you to be in a relationship with someone who gives you whatever you like but deprives you of his/her time and attention? How can a person cope when they fall in love with a workaholic?

Read, comment and SHARE!!!
Countdown to CHRISTMAS…yaaaaaayy!!!
Wishing you the best, this season.
Love,
L’queen.

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MUSIC and the MEMORIES

Music and the Memories

Music and the Memories

“ Every song has a memory;every song has the ability to make or break your heart, shut down the heart and open the eyes”. – Andy Warhol

Music, as we all know, are sounds that are arranged in a way that is pleasing to listen to. However, these days not all songs are pleasant to the hearing…LOL
Personally, music to me is beyond the sonorous voice, the beats and the lyrics. I see music as an escape, a mode of transporation,something that takes me out of my present situation at different points in my life.

In my secondary/Uni days I was so obsessed with music, not like I’m no longer obsessed with it, I just feel its effect on me has reduced a little. For me, its RNB and Gospel slows anyday, anytime. My current music obsessions are Frank Ocean’s ‘thinking about you’, Sean Paul’s ‘how deep is your love’ ft. Kelly Rowland, Banky W’s ‘Yes/No’ and ‘Sweet Jesus’ by J. Moss.

Music means a lot of things to different people. Some people say when they listen to Dj Khaled’s ‘All I do is win’, they just get inspired to be the best and it gives them the needed ‘push’ to strive for success.

When it comes to relationships, music does so many things. It can bring back memories, help heal a broken heart and can also inspire you to be a better lover. There’s a saying that, ‘behind every girl’s favourite song, there’s an untold story’. I can relate to that

A friend of mine told me, that almost all Celine Dion songs bring back memories of her first love. As at the time she was with her first love, Celine Dion songs were enjoying airplay on the radio stations from back then( raypower, rhythm fm and metro fm) and that was what they listened to, together.
Whenever I hear ‘Run-away’ by Styl-plus, there is a certain picture that comes to my mind. Music brings back memories especially if you are/were with someone who shares/shared the same passsion for music as you do. We tend to associate some kind of emotions to most of the songs we sing or listen to.

Music also possesses a healing power. Most times when people go through heart break, they run to the likes of Adele, Boys II men, Katy Perry or Taylor Swift. Usually, they say the lyrics of such songs reach deep into their soul and helps them feel better.

Music also helps relieve us from the stress of our daily lives and takes us back to places of excitement and pleasant memories which different songs help us remember. It affects our moods and our thinking in various ways.

Earlier on this year, I met a lady who told me,‘Best thing I never had’ by Beyonce was the perfect song for her situation. Without the need for her to explain, I already had an idea of the situation. We all have tunes stuck in our heads. Some of them remind us of friends, places, events, childhood experiences and some remind us of love-lost.

Although, it is not easy to parse how music evokes memories but I’m sure y’all will agree with me, that music possesses the power to take us back to revisit our past and helps us maintain new memories. I believe music holds a key to old memories.

Lets hear you; what does music do to you? Inspire? Entertain? Heal? Revive?
Does it bring back old memories to you? Did music help heal your broken heart at any point in time? Read, share and comment.

Welcome to DECEMBER!!!
Chicken,Cake and Creamy Edibles
Don’t just decorate your house, decorate a life.
Have a great week!
Love,
L’queen

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This article was written by Tolulope L’queen Lemikan.
Tolu is a writer, with passion for the subject “LOVE”, she is a freelance writer on relationships for some other blogs and magazines.
Follow her on twitter: @lqueeen

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HELP!! I’M TRAPPED IN THE FRIEND ZONE


“Friend zone refers to a platonic relationship where one person wishes to enter into a romantic relationship but the other doesn’t ” – Wikipedia.

“If one can become your friend he/she can easily become your life partner” – Michael Jackson.

After a hectic day of hustle on the streets of Lagos, coupled with crazy traffic, I got home at 9:45pm feeling like planet earth was placed on my shoulders. I decided to take a shower and end the day by going to bed earlier than usual. As I was slipping into my night wear, my phone started crying (ringing) from inside my bag, I just ignored it and continued with what I was doing. When it didn’t stop after the second ring, I reluctantly decided to pick it up.

Alas! It was my older cousin Jibola calling, I haven’t seen Jibola for almost 2years and I was happy to hear from him, even in my tired state.
“What’s up Coz”, I said in a very happy tone. “I’m not too ok jor, we need to talk”, Jibola said in a serious tone.
By the sound of his voice, I could tell that the call was not centered on knowing how I was doing, my cousin had something on his mind and that something was really serious.

He narrated the story of how he has been friends with this Moyin girl for 5years and over the years, he has become so drawn to her, more than anyone else. Although, Moyin dated other guys all the while, he still had his place in her life as “best male friend”.

The main issue now is, Jibola (now a grown man) is ready for a serious relationship, but his friend (Moyin) is stuck in an unhealthy relationship and she doesn’t even seem to realize it.

“Tolu, I can’t continue to see her get hurt in the hands of these other guys, when she’s the only one I have ever loved”, Jibola said to me.

That statement touched me so much, from the sound of my cousin’s voice I could tell that he was really hurt.
As time went on, Jibola and I were able to discuss and find out ways to help him escape the friend zone trap(Hey! hang on, I’ll share the tips). To cut the long story short, Jibola and Moyin are together now. And guess what? He has proposed to her *winks*.

It is not uncommon to hear young people talk about the “friend zone” these days. For some people, the switch from friend to lover isn’t so easy. I usually enjoy Friend Zone on MTV; I see the pain in the eyes of the person when his/her friend rejects the offer to turn their friendship into a relationship. Usually, they say it’s because they don’t want to ruin the friendship.
What are your thoughts about this? Does the switch always ruin the friendship?

HOW CAN I ESCAPE THIS ‘FRIEND ZONE’ THING?

So, are you trapped in the closet? – erm sorry, I mean… in the friend zone?
Awwww…Ok let’s talk about the escape route from the friend zone, my cousin and I were able to dig some things out at that time and luckily,it worked for him.

I’ll share some with you; first let me say you have to realize that every relationship (friendship, customer/client to organization, man to woman e.t.c) is a negotiation. However, when the terms and conditions of such a negotiation is about to change, it is essential that each party must be well informed. That’s the re-negotiation stage.
I’ll also like to add that, most times, people get trapped in the friend zone, because they are meeting the needs of the other party and they on the other hand, are not satisfied.

Try the following recommended tips by Jeremy Nicholson (the attraction doctor):

    Make yourself scarce: when you are too available to your friend, soon you’ll be taken for granted. Try and occupy yourself with other things.

    Act less interested: Don’t always show interest in what he/she is doing. Sometimes you can decline an invitation to go out with him/her, by giving excuse of another engagement (something irrelevant).

    Create competition: Make other friends and hang out with them often, naturally, this will affect your friend a little. People tend to give more value to something they think they might lose.

    Get the other person to invest: Don’t always be the giver, allow your friend to do things for you and make sacrifices for you as well.

    Be rewarding: Show appreciation when he/she does things for you and make it clear that it means a lot to you that he/she is there for you. Don’t see it as right, it’s a benefit of true friendship.

I believe that by applying the above tips, you will be able to create balance in the value and exchange of friendship between you and the person. It will make your friend realize how valuable you are.

Once that is established, you can take a bold step to express your feelings to your friend. You may decide to do it directly or indirectly. You can ask for a date and express your feelings. You can also decide to do it indirectly by using a card or a message. Personally, I prefer the direct approach to this;because it will make him/her take you seriously. This can only work if you have made your friend realize your worth and what you really are to him/her.

I wish you the best, it works for some and for some it doesn’t but you can never tell, until you do something about it. No one likes to stay in a forever friend zone. There’s no harm in trying. No matter the outcome, you’ll be able to make him/her realize how valuable you are.
All the best!! *winks*
“Love is an everlasting friendship” – Jackie Chan.

Read the post, share the post and I’ll really like to hear your views, comments and opinions on the friend zone. You could also share your experiences and how you were able to escape….you might help someone out too.
Have a great week.
Love,
L’queen

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This article was written by Tolulope L’queen Lemikan.
Tolu is a writer, with passion for the subject “LOVE”, she is a freelance writer on relationships for some other blogs and magazines.
Follow her on twitter: @lqueeen

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Let’s Hear You: Mr. & Mrs. RIGHT.

“There’s a difference between what we look for, what we settle for and what we are meant for”.

Some readers sent me e-mails saying most of my articles have been a little too serious recently, so let’s talk about something a little fun this week.
I was privileged to go into the clothing business at some point in my life, asides the fact that I had to work with guys almost everyday, I learnt so many things from them.

On this fateful day, we had just finished a mass production of tee-shirts for an event,hungry and tired from not getting enough sleep at night,we decided to have brunch. While having brunch,the most exciting part of our work started, “discussion time”.
The food led to our discussion and before long, each guy started listing out qualities he thinks his “Mrs. RIGHT” must possess. They listed on and on and on, while I sat there, listening and watching their expressions with tears in my eyes from too much laughter.
At the end of the discussion, I was able to pick out the Highest Common Factors (HCF) from each guy’s list.
The following made the HCF:

Educated;
Beautiful (inside and out);
Fun to be with;
Must have some junk in the trunk
(curvy);
Must be able to make it happen in the bedroom and kitchen (very important).

The above qualities were present in the list of 8 different guys.

Another day,while at a friend’s birthday lunch, I started the same discussion with my female friends.
You should know the usual with ladies *winks*. “Mr. RIGHT” must be: Tall, Dark, Handsome, God-fearing, well toned muscles, great career….the list is endless.

From the two scenarios, it’s obvious both sexes (male&female) have pictures of the ideal lover in their heads. The kind of fantasy criterion put into our brains,thanks to Hollywood and Harlequin novels.

I don’t know if anyone else will agree with me on this, but I’ve come to discover that the cards don’t always turn in our favour. We spend so much time painting pictures of how our Mr/Mrs Right must look like and sometimes we lose sight of what we really need, while looking out for what we want. At the end of the day, we will discover that those standards or the so-called criteria we held on to,are very amendable.

Now my question is, those people who ended up getting married to people who are not actually prototypes of the “criteria” they set as singles;
Does that mean they have settled for less?
Or is it that when time flies and desperation sets in, people just go for “any one wey come I don dey old?”

What are your thoughts on this? In my opinion, I’ll say our own plans are very different from what God has prepared for us.

“A man plans his way but the Lord directs his steps” Proverbs 16:9 NKJV

A friend of mine always says, “there’s a difference between what we look for, what we settle for and what we are meant for”.

Dear esteemed reader, what are your thoughts on this? Do you think they settled for less? Is it time and desperation that changes the criterion? Or do you think it’s love that changes it all?
Let’s hear you, read the post, share the post and drop your comments…you might touch a life by your comments. Y’heard?

Have a great week ahead.
Love,
L’queen

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This article was written by Toluwalope L’queen Lemikan.
Tolu is a writer, with passion for the subject “love”, she is a freelance writer on relationships for some other blogs and magazines.
Follow her on twitter: @lqueeen

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Heart Healing: WHEN YOUR GOOD IS NOT ENOUGH

I had written a couple of articles over the past week and I just felt one of them will grace the pages of my blog this week but as I thought about today, I felt the need to write something fresh.

We’ve all read and heard so much on how to give your best to make a relationship work…good stuff I must agree. However, what I want to talk about today is a tad different from that.

Human wants are insatiable and both men and women have pictures on what they want in a relationship.

In relationships, a lot of us give a 110% with the hope that we’ll receive a “good measure in return”, sometimes that never happens. Instead, you are fed back with something that “shakes” you up and to say the worst, sometimes you get “run-over” by the very person you did your best to please.

Recently, a friend told me of how his lady said she felt incomplete in their relationship,despite the fact that he had put in his all to please her. She still wasn’t happy and gradually she started drifting away giving excuses about distance and financial issues. He confessed to me that he was in love with her but it hurt to hear that his best wasn’t good enough to satisfy her.

Just like my friend, there are so many people who feel like no matter what, they are just not good enough. If after doing all the nice little things you can, you are still unable to make your partner happy then I think something is up. In my opinion there are 2 things involved;
Its either you are already in some sort of competition to win his/her heart in which the other person is already winning OR its just not meant to be, because no matter how hard you try “Akamu and Ewedu” can never go well together.
Instead of sulking and engaging in self pity,what do you do?
LOVE YOURSELF
God has made each and every individual unique in their own way and no-one is perfect.
Do your best while you are still given the chance to, hopefully they might see it but if not…don’t blame yourself for it.

It might not be that something is wrong with you, it might just be that the relationship wasn’t even meant to be.
In such situations, its hard to accept reality but if you don’t pick yourself up when you are knocked down,you’ll definitely remain on the ground.

If its meant to be,they will realize your worth just in time but if not, you will meet the one who loves you for you, deserves your love and will appreciate the good in your goodie bag.

Let’s learn to let go and Let God.
He alone has all the answers we seek.

Have an amazing week.

Love,
L’queen

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BY FIRE,BY FORCE…NOTHING CAN STOP THIS

I woke up one sunday morning,saw a message from my good friend and it says ”I’ve finally taken Tunji to meet my parents…we’ll talk abt d rest ltr”

I was elated,I started making mental notes on the color/theme of the wedding in my head. Let me admit,I love weddings *covers face*

Back to my friend,immediately after church service,I drove down to her place to get the main gist ”as e dey hot” but on getting there I saw my friend with a not so cheerful face for someone who just did a mini-introduction.
I didn’t bother to ask what was wrong,I just sat there and waited for her to get talking. Then she said,”my mum fell in love with Tunji immediately” then I smiled from ear to ear like a cheshire cat then I heard ”BUT,my dad was just too harsh on him”.

What are his reasons?, I asked. She said he didn’t tell me until Tunji had left. She said her Dad complained about Tunji’s background,he said Tunji comes from a broken home and children from such homes tend to follow their parents path.

I was shocked,why would a father make such a hasty generalization or conclusion?. I felt bad for my friend and then she looked at me closely and said ”Look,whether my Dad likes it or not I’ll marry Tunji”.

What are your thoughts on this? An african proverb says, what the elders see while sitting,the younger ones can’t see even if they climb a tree.

However,is it all the time that our parents are right about their judgement of other people? Are their reasons concrete enough? What would you do if this happened to you?

Please share your thoughts
Love,
L’queen

Posted from WordPress for BlackBerry.

Posted from WordPress for BlackBerry.

Posted from WordPress for BlackBerry.

#WriterSpotlight – “I think it’s important for us as writers to risk ridicule and bring truth to life.” Tolu Oluwaseyi-Daniel

thesparklewritershub

unnamed (2)Hey Sparkle Writers! It’s time for another #WriterSpotlight. Today we have Tolu Oluwaseyi-Daniel, popularly known as L’Queen. She is an author and blogger and she has some great advice for writers who want to publish books and write stories.

We can’t wait for you to dig in!

Hello, Tolu. Can you please describe yourself in a few words?

Hi, my name is Tolu Oluwaseyi-Daniel, also known as L’Queen. I’m a purpose driven person who loves to be a source of joy and motivation to others. I am a writer, blogger and public speaker.

At what point did you discover that you had a passion for writing and why did you decide to pursue this passion?

I fully discovered my love for writing in 2012, when I started my blog LQUEENWRITES.COM. Although before then I knew it was something I had a flair for. I’d always been inspired by books, every…

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