If you are familiar with Banky W’s Strong thing or Yes/no, I’m sure you must have heard the line ‘you dey make my heart go gbim gbim / you dey make my heart go jim kelele’, its his own way of saying his heart is beating for that particular person. A lot of us also use that to express love for someone, by saying ‘my heart beats for you’. I used to have one stalker in my uni days who would always say ‘Tolu my heart is beating for you’ and I’ll laugh and cry all at once. It sounded very funny to me then. Well, what I wanna talk about today is a tad different from that…
Back in uni days, I had this flat mate, lets call her ‘Lawumi’. She was in a relationship with this guy from her pre-degree till I left. I was a year ahead of her, so I really don’t know if they are still together now.
Lawumi loved this Dara guy with everything she had, you could say that her heart was actually beating for him. She is a very good cook and she always prepared sumptuous meals for him. I remember she had this brown cooler that she used in offering cooler ministration to Dara everyday. On weekends, Lawumi will prepare a big pot of soup and turn it into that particular brown cooler and then she’ll leave the hostel to spend the weekend in Dara’s place. I really can’t tell if Dara used to give her money to prepare those meals.
On this particular weekend, I saw Lawumi in the hostel,that was very unusual. Since Lawumi and I were kinda close, I asked her if Dara travelled and then she said he didn’t. I just kept quiet and continued staring at her,I could tell something was wrong from the furtive look on her face,after a while she had no choice but to tell me what was wrong. Lawumi showed me a mark on her face which was previously covered by her long rose-deep weavon. Believe me, the mark was really bad. It was almost as red as the inside of an agbalumo fruit. Lawumi is dark in complexion( although not so dark) but the red mark on her face was rather too obvious for a dark person which means, Dara must have hit her so hard.
She narrated how Dara beat her because she forgot the keys to his house in the hostel and he needed to pick up something urgently. She said he had temper problems and that whenever he was angry, he can hit her with anything. I was speechless. Why would a guy keep beating the lady who loves him so much? The annoying thing was that, after almost an hour of speaking to Lawumi, she still kept making excuses for him and blaming herself for forgetting the keys.
‘Tolu, I love Dara with all my heart, its just this his temper issue, he’s a very nice guy’, Lawumi kept saying. Ohh!! Please… nice guy my foot, I thought.
Lo and behold! On Sunday afternoon, Dara came in company of his friends to apologize to Lawumi. He prostrated and pleaded with her. Lawumi, in tears accepted his apology and hugged him. Before my very eyes, she dished out food into that brown cooler again and left the hostel with Dara.
I just stayed in my room, watching them leave. I kept shaking my head all afternoon, I could almost cry for my dear Lawumi. A beautiful girl hurting herself in the name of love.
Just like Lawumi, so many people are going through stuff like this. I remember that movie, ‘private storm’, it’s a fictional example of this kind of experience.
For how long will this continue? Why would a lady choose to remain in an abusive relationship? For God sake, he hasn’t even put a ring on it, even if he has, as far as I am concerned, only a cowardly man beats a woman. Yes! you love him with all your heart but Sister your brain should also be involved. How long will you keep giving love from your heart and keep getting beatings in exchange? It is important that a woman never allows loneliness or fear to coerce her into vulnerability in the hands of a dangerous man.
Dearest Gentle-men, why would you say your heart is beating for a lady and after she gives you her heart you give her beatings in return? The essence of love is to give to each other and provide a secure place where both of you can grow together. Its not about beatings or injury of any kind…Y’heard??
Please don’t hit a woman…its absolutely wrong.
Dear reader, what are your thoughts on this? Let’s hear you…Read,Comment and Share.
Have an amazing week.
This article was written by Tolulope L’queen Lemikan.
Tolu is a writer, with passion for the subject “LOVE”, she is a freelance writer on relationships for some other blogs and magazines.
Follow her on twitter: @lqueeen