Author Archives: L'QUEEN

About L'QUEEN

Tolu L'QUEEN Oluwaseyi-Daniel is that introverted extrovert who likes all things Love, Life and Light (JESUS) She's a wife and Mom. An author, humanitarian, public speaker and serial entrepreneur who goes all out to ensure her BIG dreams come to life, ambtitious, vivacious and spectacular are some of the words that best describe her.She finds joy in writing, reading and public speaking but when she's not doing that you can catch up on her adventures on her YouTube channel (Tolu 'Seyi-Daniel) or in a quiet place watching some Korean TV drama! Follow her on all social media platforms @LQUEENTT

#WriterSpotlight – “I think it’s important for us as writers to risk ridicule and bring truth to life.” Tolu Oluwaseyi-Daniel

thesparklewritershub

unnamed (2)Hey Sparkle Writers! It’s time for another #WriterSpotlight. Today we have Tolu Oluwaseyi-Daniel, popularly known as L’Queen. She is an author and blogger and she has some great advice for writers who want to publish books and write stories.

We can’t wait for you to dig in!

Hello, Tolu. Can you please describe yourself in a few words?

Hi, my name is Tolu Oluwaseyi-Daniel, also known as L’Queen. I’m a purpose driven person who loves to be a source of joy and motivation to others. I am a writer, blogger and public speaker.

At what point did you discover that you had a passion for writing and why did you decide to pursue this passion?

I fully discovered my love for writing in 2012, when I started my blog LQUEENWRITES.COM. Although before then I knew it was something I had a flair for. I’d always been inspired by books, every…

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THE ARRIVAL OF THE BUTTERFLIES

Butterflies in the belly

Butterflies in the belly

Dennis and two of his friends entered Desiree supermarket to buy a particular after-shave recommended by a colleague at the office. While trying to pick some little choppies from another section of the supermarket,he found himself standing next to a gorgeous damsel.

Dayuum! She was beautiful, she looked like something out of a magazine cover.
Dennis couldn’t hold back, he just kept staring at her and then when she looked up, he spoke. ‘hello cutie’, Dennis said.

With a smile that competed with the sunshine,she said, ‘hi’. Dennis quickly introduced himself, mehn! you should have heard her voice when she said “ I’m Isabelle”. Dennis was completely blown away, no name would have been more appropriate for a creature with such an angelic face.

Isabelle gave Dennis her card when he requested and he also gave his to her. She was into event planning and management. After leaving the premises, Dennis could still picture Isabelle’s face in his mind’s eye. He could already feel the butterflies in his tummy. He and Isabelle had two dates and on the third date, he asked her out and luckily, beautiful Isabelle accepted. The butterflies kept dancing around his tummy, he was overjoyed.

I’m sure you have once had this feeling right? LOL. Why not share with me? Don’t be shy jor

Just like D’banj said ‘Don’t get it twisted love is a beautiful thing’. Love can be a beautiful feeling. It starts with that magical attraction of meeting someone and feeling connected to that person almost immediately. You just start to have that fluttery feeling in your tummy and those around you might even notice an instant change in your mood.

It is that thing that causes you to glow and shine in a very unusual way. It is that thing that makes a lady’s eyes sparkle and makes a man smile from ear to ear, like a cheshire cat. At the arrival of the butterflies, you become vulnerable, you can do almost anything to get the attention of him/her. To get them to accept you.

Oh well!….if only the butterflies stayed forever *sad face* at some point the butterflies might decide to leave and it all becomes normal again. That magical effect he/she has on you might gradually reduce and at some point fade out. Sometimes the butterflies in the tummy IS NOT love, it might just be mere physical attraction.

However, it’s a PHASE….Enjoy the arrival of the butterflies.

Keep the love in your hearts. WELCOME TO FEBRUARY…. The VALENTINE month.

Make it a memorable one….Try not to miss the articles for this month and share them with your loved ones. Its the Season of LOVE.

Have a LOVELY week

Love,

L’queen

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This article was written by Tolulope L’queen Lemikan.
Tolu is a writer, with passion for the subject “LOVE”, she is a freelance writer on relationships for some other blogs and magazines.

Follow her on twitter: @lqueeen

Like the official facebook page : http://www.facebook.com/Lqueensblog

SHE’S THE MAN

Enjoying the cool afternoon breeze, Ona got out of her office to have lunch. On getting to the cafeteria, it was quite crowded. She left the cafeteria and decided to go to the eatery down the road.

Entering the premises, she parked behind a grey Honda civic, in a way that would obstruct the owner upon his/her exit. After buying her food,she rushed back to the parking lot and saw a youngman (the owner of the Honda Civic) waiting for the owner of the Highlander to reverse, so he could leave the premises. Ona apologised to the youngman. But mehn! The guy was a sight to behold, he had very radiant eyes and a smile that can light up a room. They talked for a while, exchanged cards and afterwards each person drove off.

His name was Vincent and he was really cute, as in really cute. He works as the manager of a medium scale enterprise not too far from Ona’s office. Ona on the other hand, works as a senior supervisor at Eldorado Plc. Although pretty young, she had risen fast to the top of her career. She was a good example of Miss Independent. Before long, Ona and Vincent started having lunch together most times at the same eatery where they met. Since the attraction was mutual, a relationship soon sprung up between them.

Ona was happy about her relationship and decided to share the news with her friends. However, the responses she got from them were far different from what she expected. One of her friends,Erica said ‘he doesn’t belong in your class, Ona’. Tochi, a friend and colleague said, ‘you better be careful of all these good looking poor guys, I’m sure your salary is three times more than what he earns’. That statement kept ringing in Ona’s heart. However, Ona and Vincent kept on with their relationship. Vincent was such a sweetheart, he treated Ona like a princess and she was beginning to love him.

It was really difficult for Ona because, her friends and most importantly her family were against the relationship. Her mother would say, ‘Ona you are the one marrying a wife oh because whoever earns more money, is the man of the home’. The only person who didn’t see things from that perspective was Ona’s eldest brother, he always advised her not to listen to anyone, as long as it felt right,she should carry on. He would always say, ‘things will definately get bettter for Vincent so long as he is hardworking’. That was the only person who stood by Ona and gave words of encouragement.

Dear reader, what are your thoughts on this? As a lady, can you marry a man who earns lesser than you do? Guys, can you enter into a relationship with a lady who earns three times your monthly salary? Does it really matter?

When I heard this story,I remembered the Michelle and Barack Obama love story. They met at a law firm in Chicago, she was way ahead of him and she was supposed to be his tutor when he came in as a summer associate but from there their love story began and now he’s no longer that same summer associate, he is the President of the United States and for that reason she is the First Lady of the United States.

In the seventh verse of the eigth chapter of the book of Job, the bible says ‘Though your beginning is small, your latter end shall greatly increase’. As far as I am concerned, we should not despise the days of humble beginnings, he might not have it all now but if he has great potentials then he will have a bright future. Many a times, we ladies are carried away by the things we see, forgetting that the worth of a man is not based on the value of his possessions.
Anyone has the capacity to become anything, so do not look at what you see on the outside. There is more to a person than what the eyes can see.

Enough of my opinion, I don’t wanna preach here…..what is your opinion on this? Does class/rank/status really matter in love? Does the fact that a woman earns more in a relationship/marriage make her the man?

Please I really wanna hear from you this time…READ,SHARE AND COMMENT.

It might help someone else out there.

Have a wonderful week.

Love,

L’queen.

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This article was written by Tolulope L’queen Lemikan.
Tolu is a writer, with passion for the subject “LOVE”, she is a freelance writer on relationships for some other blogs and magazines.
Follow her on twitter: @lqueeen

THE HEART AND THE BEATINGS

HeartBeat

HeartBeat

If you are familiar with Banky W’s Strong thing or Yes/no, I’m sure you must have heard the line ‘you dey make my heart go gbim gbim / you dey make my heart go jim kelele’, its his own way of saying his heart is beating for that particular person. A lot of us also use that to express love for someone, by saying ‘my heart beats for you’. I used to have one stalker in my uni days who would always say ‘Tolu my heart is beating for you’ and I’ll laugh and cry all at once. It sounded very funny to me then. Well, what I wanna talk about today is a tad different from that…

Back in uni days, I had this flat mate, lets call her ‘Lawumi’. She was in a relationship with this guy from her pre-degree till I left. I was a year ahead of her, so I really don’t know if they are still together now.

Lawumi loved this Dara guy with everything she had, you could say that her heart was actually beating for him. She is a very good cook and she always prepared sumptuous meals for him. I remember she had this brown cooler that she used in offering cooler ministration to Dara everyday. On weekends, Lawumi will prepare a big pot of soup and turn it into that particular brown cooler and then she’ll leave the hostel to spend the weekend in Dara’s place. I really can’t tell if Dara used to give her money to prepare those meals.

On this particular weekend, I saw Lawumi in the hostel,that was very unusual. Since Lawumi and I were kinda close, I asked her if Dara travelled and then she said he didn’t. I just kept quiet and continued staring at her,I could tell something was wrong from the furtive look on her face,after a while she had no choice but to tell me what was wrong. Lawumi showed me a mark on her face which was previously covered by her long rose-deep weavon. Believe me, the mark was really bad. It was almost as red as the inside of an agbalumo fruit. Lawumi is dark in complexion( although not so dark) but the red mark on her face was rather too obvious for a dark person which means, Dara must have hit her so hard.

She narrated how Dara beat her because she forgot the keys to his house in the hostel and he needed to pick up something urgently. She said he had temper problems and that whenever he was angry, he can hit her with anything. I was speechless. Why would a guy keep beating the lady who loves him so much? The annoying thing was that, after almost an hour of speaking to Lawumi, she still kept making excuses for him and blaming herself for forgetting the keys.

‘Tolu, I love Dara with all my heart, its just this his temper issue, he’s a very nice guy’, Lawumi kept saying. Ohh!! Please… nice guy my foot, I thought.

Lo and behold! On Sunday afternoon, Dara came in company of his friends to apologize to Lawumi. He prostrated and pleaded with her. Lawumi, in tears accepted his apology and hugged him. Before my very eyes, she dished out food into that brown cooler again and left the hostel with Dara.
I just stayed in my room, watching them leave. I kept shaking my head all afternoon, I could almost cry for my dear Lawumi. A beautiful girl hurting herself in the name of love.

Just like Lawumi, so many people are going through stuff like this. I remember that movie, ‘private storm’, it’s a fictional example of this kind of experience.

For how long will this continue? Why would a lady choose to remain in an abusive relationship? For God sake, he hasn’t even put a ring on it, even if he has, as far as I am concerned, only a cowardly man beats a woman. Yes! you love him with all your heart but Sister your brain should also be involved. How long will you keep giving love from your heart and keep getting beatings in exchange? It is important that a woman never allows loneliness or fear to coerce her into vulnerability in the hands of a dangerous man.

Dearest Gentle-men, why would you say your heart is beating for a lady and after she gives you her heart you give her beatings in return? The essence of love is to give to each other and provide a secure place where both of you can grow together. Its not about beatings or injury of any kind…Y’heard??
Please don’t hit a woman…its absolutely wrong.
Dear reader, what are your thoughts on this? Let’s hear you…Read,Comment and Share.

Have an amazing week.

Love,
L’queen

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This article was written by Tolulope L’queen Lemikan.
Tolu is a writer, with passion for the subject “LOVE”, she is a freelance writer on relationships for some other blogs and magazines.
Follow her on twitter: @lqueeen

BEFORE YOU SAY I DO

Marry Me

Marry Me

2013: weddings, more weddings, mooore weddings…

2012 was a very great year. It greeted us with sooooo many weddings right from January all the way to December. Personally I attended so many weddings last year, weddings of friends,family friends,cousins,church members etc. I still attended a wedding on the 29th of December 2012.

To God be the glory, 2013 is here and I know so many people preparing to walk down the aisle this year *winks*.So many people have already tied the knot this year. It is really amazing, knowing that you’ll be spending the rest of your life with someone you really love. Congratulations y’all. Please invite me oh! Y’all know I love weddings *covers face*

However, before you say I do, there are a few things I wanna bring to your remembrance. We all know that marriage is the only school or institution where you receive the certificate before you resume. The wedding ceremony is just for a day, but marriage is FOREVER. The wedding will be attended by a crowd but it is only you and your spouse that will sail through the marriage boat through the stormy weather, when it is smooth and when the tide comes.

So just before you say I do, how much do you know? And do you agree with all that you know about him/her? Agreement is the basis of LOVE. I love the scripture in the third verse of the third book of Amos that says ‘Can two walk together except they agree?’

There’s this message by Pst Mrs Bimbo Odukoya of blessed memory that I always love to listen to, I would like to share a few things from it with you. Before that, it is essential to realize that you and your lover have strengths and weaknessses. Once you say I do, you are not only accepting the strengths, the weaknesses are inclusive. It is important that during the course of your relationship, you discuss so many issues. A relationship shouldn’t just be about ‘you are the love of my life, the apple of my life….blah, blah, blah. It’s a time to discuss and share your views on life issues.

The following are worthy of discussion:
CAREER/AMBITION AND GOALS: It is essential to share your goals and aspirations with your partner, so that you don’t get married and then surprises start to set in. Some men will say once she has my kids, she can’t work. Share details of your career path and what it really entails. Make marriage goals together; number of kids, child spacing etc
VERBAL INTIMACY/COMMUNICATION AND TOGETHERNESS: Ensure that your partner also believes that there should be communication and verbal intimacy so that each of you can express your minds from time to time. Talk about the amount of time you should spend together because some people have jobs that keep them away for months and sometimes years. Talk about it now!
FINANCIAL/MONETARY ISSUES: Ensure that you have a proper understanding of how your partner spends, his/her views on spending and investment. If you are about to marry an expensive lady, please make sure there’s enough money in the account…Talk about financial allocation or family budget, family vacation, children’s education and upkeep. This is really important because money issues have broken a lot of homes.
SOCIAL RELATIONSHIPS: Talk about your relationship with friends and family members after marriage. Talk about the possibility of siblings or parents coming to live with you after marriage. Talk about how to deal with in-laws.
SOCIAL BEHAVIOUR: Talk about your individual habits or behaviours; drinking, smoking and clubbing. Share your views on all these to know what he/she feels about such things.
SUBMISSION AND RESPECT: Share your views on the level of submission and respect you require in marriage because it differs in families and cultures.
PHILOSOPHY OF LIFE: Talk about your religious beliefs,general opinions and biases.
ISSUES IN THE HOME: Talk about the cooking,laundry and cleanliness of the house. Some ladies will say they can’t cook everyday, that the man should also enter the kitchen. Hmmnn talk about it now oh! Some people cannot hand wash clothes it’s either you buy a washing machine or you send the clothes to the dry-cleaner. Talk about it now!
WEAKNESSES AND STRENGTHS: Talk about each other’s weaknesses, some people have weaknesses like pride, anger, stinginess,unfriendliness etc. talk about them. Its also important to talk about your strengths, one of the good things about marriage is that one partner can complement the other. I have seen couples that the husband is very shy but the wife is very bold and outspoken. Each one will cover for the other.
HOBBIES AND INTERESTS: We all have different hobbies and interests. It is important, that your partner knows what your’s are. Sports: football, table-tennis, basktet-ball, golf etc. Music: Rhythm and blues, Rap, classical, country, rock etc Movies: action, comedy,romance,sci-fi etc
HEALTH ISSUES: Talk about health issues, the kind of medical consultancy you use. Some believe Government owned hospitals have better and more qualified doctors while some only visit private hospitals. Some people don’t believe in taking medication, they just pray. Talk about it now! Talk about weight issues too, some like orobo while some want lepa for life. Well, talk about it coz when the babies come, she might grow fat oh!
HABITS: Talk about the good habits
Time to sleep/ time to wake up: some people sleep by 12am and wake up by 5am and they are ok, while some sleep by 9am and still find it hard to keep their eyes open by 6. Talk about it.
Prayer: Muslims usually wake up 5am to pray, some do this faithfully while some don’t. talk about it now. Some christians wake up to pray at night, some don’t even pray at all. Talk about it now.
Meal time: some people eat very early in the morning while some don’t eat till almost mid-day. Talk about it now! .If you marry a man that eats very early in the morning, be ready to wake up early to cook for him everyday.
HOUSING/ ACCOMODATION : Some people say they can’t live outside Lagos or Abuja, some say they can only live in a duplex. Some people say they must have cooks, gate-men, gardeners and drivers in their home. Hmmnn…talk about it
FOREVER/CONDITIONAL: Some people say no matter what, my marriage is forever while some say once he cheats on me its over. Talk about it. Some say once she doesn’t have a child,I’ll marry another woman…hmmmnn. Talk about it now
There are so many other things worth discussing but these are the few I could cover. Get your partner to share every little detail with you from the past, to the present and plan for the future together. Share all the details before the big day when you’ll say ‘I DO’. Remember, forever is a looooooong time.

I wish you a great forever marriage

Have a great week.

Love,
L’queen.

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This article was written by Tolulope L’queen Lemikan.
Tolu is a writer, with passion for the subject “LOVE”, she is a freelance writer on relationships for some other blogs and magazines.
Follow her on twitter: @lqueeen

CCT FORMULA: NEW YEAR,NEW APPROACH

Here we are…. It’s a brand new year, 2013. So fresh, so clean and without spot or wrinkle. Its time to begin to fill the pages and do things right. I am sure when you saw the title you must have been wondering what does she mean by CCT formula?…don’t you worry, I’m just about to break it down.
You know when you want to cook a kind of soup you have never cooked before or one that you have cooked before, but you are not so good at, you might need an expert to write out the list of ingredients and procedures required for that meal to be properly prepared. Now in this new year, a lot of us will be cooking the LOVE soup, so lets consider some of the ingredients to ensure we have a delicious soup.
The first C is COMMITMENT: In my own understanding, commitment first starts with AGREEMENT. The holy book talks about this in the third verse of the third chapter of the book of Amos ‘Can two walk together, except they agree?’ I believe that commitment in a relationship, is when the era of ‘ME’ or ‘I’ ends and then the era of ‘US’ or ‘WE’ begins. Commitment is when you realize that it’s not just about me anymore but about US and you make a conscious effort to consider the other person whenever you have to make decisions. It is when you become willing to make sacrifices for that person, when you don’t just remain a receiver of love but you also give out love to the other person from the very depth of your heart.
The second C is CARE: It is essential to show care in a relationship,although we all have different approaches to this. In my opinion, showing care for another is by making them realize that you are concerned about them, that you are willing to share their joy and pain with them, that you are willing to stand by them through the good or bad, happy or sad, proving to them not only in words but also in actions that they have a place in your heart. You can also show care by supporting your partner. Some people have no idea of what their partners go through on a daily basis, this is not good at all. You should always be interested in every little thing that happens to him/her, you should be their greatest cheer leader. Celebrate your partner’s achievement, correct him/her in love and also pray for him/her. So many of us don’t pray for our special someone….new year, new approach.
The T is TRUST: Trust is the basis of any healthy relationship. Looking at the word TRUST, there’s US in TRUST. Lack of trust in a relationship has the power to cripple that relationship. The real test of trust in a relationship is the ability to share your secrets,weaknesses, fears, failures and past with each other. To be able to open up completely to one another. You should tell your partner the little details of everything before something big comes out of it.
Did I hear you say I can’t do that? Believe me, its really hard to trust someone, especially when you’ve been hurt from a relationship betrayal and you have decided not to trust again. But if you continue that way, it means you are still living in the past. I had to go through a healing process to be able to trust again and live free of the restrictive force of threatning fears. I have come to discover that the key to a rich emotional life is the ability to TRUST. No matter what has happened in the past, you can trust again.
Using the right proportion of the CCT formula, will produce a delicious LOVE soup. Each partner will be happy and the roots of the relationship will grow stronger.
Use the CCT Formula TODAY!!! Y’HEARD?
I wish you the very best of LOVE in 2013
Love,
L’queen.

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This article was written by Tolulope L’queen Lemikan.
Tolu is a writer, with passion for the subject “LOVE”, she is a freelance writer on relationships for some other blogs and magazines.
Follow her on twitter: @lqueeen

NOW THAT IT IS OVER…

Yaaay!!! Its bye bye to 2012 already! God has been faithful and we all are grateful.
Just like that, 2012 is gone. Never again will there be another 2012. Thank God the world did not end on the 21st oh…LOL. Abeg me I still want to achieve my life goals, get married and give birth to my pikin dem *covers face*
Hmmmnn from January to December, things have happened oh! I know we all have different stories to tell. As for me, if I am to describe my 2012, I would simply say it was a year of pleasure and pain. But all in all, I came out strong.
Lets talk about the gains/losses of 2012. Some people found true love this year, so many got married this year, some had babies this year, some got their dream jobs this year, some graduated this year and so much more.
Same way, some had terrible heartbreaks this year, some lost a dear one this year, some went through life-threatening illnesses this year, some broke hearts this year. Many different things have happened to each and every one of us in the course of the year 2012.
With each experience, we have learnt lessons. They say, ‘what doesn’t kill you, makes you stronger’. I strongly agree. ‘With each tear, there’s a lesson, it makes you wiser than before, makes you stronger than you know…’Na so Mary J Blige talk am. The beauty of making mistakes is our ability to learn from them and for others to also learn from them.
While we are counting our blessings, looking back at the last 365 days and all God has done for us,it is also pertinent for us to reflect on our mistakes. Let us do a little soul searching, reflect on the highs and lows of 2012. It is also important to make reconciliations. If you have hurt someone in anyway this year, I implore you to make amends. If someone has hurt you this year, please try and let it go. Its not the easiest thing to do but trust me, you don’t need that kind of baggage or let me call it gabbage in 2013. Leave the BS in 2012. To those who made mistakes in 2012, try and note them in order to avoid a repeat episode of such mistakes in the future.
To those who found love in 2012, I wish you the best of love. Keep loving like it’s the first day. Trust me, it takes courage to really love someone, so do it right.
To those who lost love, believe that all things happen for a reason. The loss of a relationship can be a traumatic experience but no matter what has happened, the only hope of a healthy future relationship is to let go of the past. The best is on the way.
To those who got married, keep the love in your hearts and don’t you ever take things for granted. You need to give your all since you’ve said the two powerful words ‘I DO’.
To those who are single, don’t feel unhappy because of that. Enjoy every bit of your alone time. Who knows? 2013 might bring you ‘THE ONE’ *winks*. Keep hope alive.
All in all, I wish you all the very best of LOVE in 2013.
We’ll all be here at the end of 2013 by God’s grace.
Odun tuntun yi asan wa si ire ati ayo o…Amin
HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!!
Love,
L’queen

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This article was written by Tolulope L’queen Lemikan.
Tolu is a writer, with passion for the subject “LOVE”, she is a freelance writer on relationships for some other blogs and magazines.
Follow her on twitter: @lqueeen