ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS ___________

I remember a particular night back in secondary school, my BFF (best female friend) and I were talking outside and all of a sudden, she looked up and said “ Wow! see the three wishing stars”. I didn’t really believe in it but since she insisted, I looked up and made a wish. Maybe my wish didn’t come true that Christmas because I didn’t believe in it, but her’s came true that year.

I know we all have wish lists and I have mine too but there’s one particular wish I really want to come true. Ten years after, it’s almost Christmas again and although it sounds crazy, I have been looking out for the three wishing stars since the beginning of December. I only pray they come out tonight so that I can make that special wish on my Christmas wish list.
Some contacts on my BBM have been writing letters to Santa since the beginning of December. If only I could have a sneak peek of those letters, I’m sure some of them will be 5 paged type set wish lists…lol.

Just like what 2chainz wanted for his birthday, one of my BBM contacts said he wants a big booty for Christmas….what a Christmas wish though. Another of my bbm contacts said he wants $ 1 billion dollars for Christmas. Anyway they say “different strokes for different folks”. Some wish for love, some wish for happiness, some want that particular blazer, dress, shoe, diamond, Ipad,Iphone, Blackberry etc. When making all these wish lists, remember there’s a limit to what dear Santa can carry oh! Lol. We all have that one thing that we truly desire this season and it will mean so much to us if our wishes come to pass.

In the spirit of Christmas, I would encourage you not just to make wishes, but try and be the answer to someone’s prayer. Be the reason for the smile on someone’s face this season, make someone happy. One way you can find true happiness is by being the source of another’s happiness.
It could be your family; some of us have been away from home for so long. This is the time to show love to members of your own house-hold. It could be your kids or siblings; wrap the smallest gifts, it doesn’t have to be something expensive just something that can put a smile on their faces. I gave my younger brother something he had always wanted last week Wednesday and ever since then he’ll always say ‘I have the best sister in the world’ that little gesture from me, meant so much to him.

It could be your husband/wife/lover, a lot of us have been extremely busy all year and this is the time to take him/her out and do something really sweet and romantic. Last week, I saw a friend of mine packaging a lovely christmas gift for his lady and it looked so sweet. It could be a cake, chocolate box, wine, maybe a book or devotional for the next year. You can decide to take him/her out, maybe to the cinemas, to a quiet garden, to a musical concert, a special meal treat….the list goes on and on.

As for me, this Christmas I don’t just want to be blessed but I want to be a blessing. I want to be the source of someone’s happiness and above all to celebrate JESUS…the REASON for the SEASON. So tell me, what do you want for Christmas? Fill in the gap…ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS ________________________

MERRY CHRISTMAS Y’ALL
May we live to see many more Christmas seasons.
Remember, it is more blessed to give than to receive. Don’t focus on your needs alone, think of people whose needs you can help meet.

Love,
L’queen.

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This article was written by Tolulope L’queen Lemikan.
Tolu is a writer, with passion for the subject “LOVE”, she is a freelance writer on relationships for some other blogs and magazines.
Follow her on twitter: @lqueeen

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FALLING IN LOVE WITH SANTA (•͡.̮ ~͡)

SANTA

SANTA

It’s the most beautiful time of the year. The christmas season. The christmas trees have been fixed and the decorations are already set in our homes and on the streets. The kids are on holidays,expecting Santa-claus and its all together beautiful

Santa-claus is an imaginary figure who is said to bring presents to children during christmas. Simply put, Santa-claus is what we call Father Christmas here in Naija or as the yoruba’s call it ‘Baba Keresi’….LOL.

Father Christmas or Santa-claus can also be used to refer to someone who gives a lot, someone who has an open hand,very generous and kind.

My family friend told me the story of a lady, who was in a great relationship. She had all she desired in her man but along the line, she met a nice neighbour. She newly moved into the area and her cute neighbour was indeed very helpful. He was very good with cars and at that time, she had issues with her car. During that period, he’ll take her to work since their offices were not too far from each other and at the close of work, he’ll come pick her up and together they will go home.

Soon enough, the lady started having feelings for this new neighbour. She became too occupied with thoughts of him and before long, she started to neglect her own relationship. She’ll always go to him whenever she had the slightest problems and her neighbour being ‘Mr. fix it’ would always solve her problems be it financial, electrical, material etc. he was always willing to assist. They hardly spoke about their personal life but they enjoyed each other’s company and most conversations were work related.

On this very day, she went to Santa’s house to return the spare tyre he had lent her earlier in the week. As she drove in, she met a beautiful young lady doing laundry in the compound. She wasn’t expecting that, but she succeeded in hiding her surprise. She tried to respond to the lady’s greeting but the words didn’t come out right. Just then, Santa-claus came out, he must have heard the sound of a car in the compound. Smiling, he made the introductions. He introduced the other lady as his fiancé and introduced her as his new neighbour to his fiancé
Santa was smiling all through because all the while he had been helping her, he never had any ulterior motives. She on the other hand, left the compound feeling like the ground should open and swallow her….eeeya!

This happens to a lot of young women and men too, although its the women most of the time. When a guy is kind to a lady,he might not have the intention of taking it further. But ladies, being the emotional beings that we are, we already begin to have ideas in our head. You’ll hear things like ‘awwww….he’s so nice’, ‘he’s such a darling’, ‘ohhhhh…..that’s so romantic’ ,when the guy has just done something he simply regards as an act of kindness. Sometimes it could be the guy too, the fact that your cute lady neighbour brings you a cooler of food every once in a while doesn’t mean she has fallen in love with you. She might just be a kind lady who loves to cook and share with someone and that someone could be anybody else.

Now the question is, did Santa break her heart? To me, it’s a capital NO!!! she was hurt by her own assumptions.

Beware!!!….not every Santa claus , Mother Christmas or Father Christmas that offers gifts/ assistance or shows care/concern, is in love with you. Don’t break your own heart by your own assumptions.

Read, comment and SHARE!!
Merry Christmas in Advance.

Show love to the people around you this season.

Love,
L’queen.

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This article was written by Tolulope L’queen Lemikan.
Tolu is a writer, with passion for the subject “LOVE”, she is a freelance writer on relationships for some other blogs and magazines.
Follow her on twitter: @lqueeen

…YOU CAN HAVE WHATEVER YOU LIKE…

“It’s not how much we give but how much love we put into giving.” ― Mother Teresa

It was my friend, Nnenna’s 25th birthday party,and we were all so excited to be there. Nnenna and I have been friends since Uni days and it was good to see her again as well as our other friends.

Nnenna was in a relationship with this dashing young man with a great career and a glorious bank account and she seemed very happy. She had been with this Uzodinma guy for 2 years and she always spoke well of him, although we never saw them together, only in pictures.

On this fateful day, he had sent her flowers,a cake,gift parcels and footed the bills of her birthday expenses. That was really sweet (I must say) but as the celebrant’s lover, we expected him to be there in person. We were all looking forward to meeting our friend’s lover Uzodinma, after two years of seeing him in pictures. Nnenna kept telling tales of how busy he was, his job description and that he promised to make it there before the party ended.
To cut the long story short, Uzodinma didn’t show up at the party. As concerned friends, we all stayed back to keep Nnenna company since it was weekend already.

We all fell asleep after catching up on old times. We did so much of gisting,laughing,wining and dining that night. You know how it is when you meet with friends you haven’t been with for quite a while. We also helped Nnenna clean up the house after her other guests had left. As in,we were exhausted!

I woke up a little past midnight to answer to the call of nature. While trying to keep my eyes open, I heard some sobbing sounds. Opening my eyes well enough, I saw Nnenna shedding tears quietly in one corner of her bedroom. I dragged my feet towards her,and sat beside her, waiting for her to say something. I didn’t want to talk, so as not to disturb the other girls who were soundly asleep.

After 5 minutes that felt like 50 minutes, Nnenna spoke. “How long will I continue like this?”she asked rhetorically. She narrated the story of how Uzodinma lavished her with money and gifts but deprived her of time together and attention. Nnenna explained how Uzodinma on many occcassions, apologized to her with shoes, bags and jewlleries whenever she complained of the lack of closeness in their relationship. I could almost cry with my friend,because she spoke with so much pain. I’ve never seen Nnenna that way before.

Nnenna desired love, togetherness,closeness,true friendship, time and attention from the relationship. However, Uzodinma was unable to provide that. Maybe, he felt money and gifts were enough to show her that he cared about her.

I remember that song by T.I back in 2008 ‘whatever you like’. In the video of the song, he spent lavishly on the lady buying her jewellries,buying her a car, taking her on a private jet and all the other nice things a girl could possibly dream of. Really, its nice to have a lover that gives and most girls will not stay with a stingy man. However, the money and the gifts are not the ultimate.
So many of us are guilty of this,we easily forget that money and gifts can not take the place of affection and attention. If someone truly loves you, they will desire your time and attention more than anything else, either material or monetary gifts. Your time and attention is something money can not buy.

What’s the point of being in a relationship, if you don’t see the GIVER only the GIFTS?

Won’t it feel selfish? Or let me say one-sided, to keep collecting gifts when you have no avenue to give love back.
What are your thoughts? Is it ok for you to be in a relationship with someone who gives you whatever you like but deprives you of his/her time and attention? How can a person cope when they fall in love with a workaholic?

Read, comment and SHARE!!!
Countdown to CHRISTMAS…yaaaaaayy!!!
Wishing you the best, this season.
Love,
L’queen.

MUSIC and the MEMORIES

Music and the Memories

Music and the Memories

“ Every song has a memory;every song has the ability to make or break your heart, shut down the heart and open the eyes”. – Andy Warhol

Music, as we all know, are sounds that are arranged in a way that is pleasing to listen to. However, these days not all songs are pleasant to the hearing…LOL
Personally, music to me is beyond the sonorous voice, the beats and the lyrics. I see music as an escape, a mode of transporation,something that takes me out of my present situation at different points in my life.

In my secondary/Uni days I was so obsessed with music, not like I’m no longer obsessed with it, I just feel its effect on me has reduced a little. For me, its RNB and Gospel slows anyday, anytime. My current music obsessions are Frank Ocean’s ‘thinking about you’, Sean Paul’s ‘how deep is your love’ ft. Kelly Rowland, Banky W’s ‘Yes/No’ and ‘Sweet Jesus’ by J. Moss.

Music means a lot of things to different people. Some people say when they listen to Dj Khaled’s ‘All I do is win’, they just get inspired to be the best and it gives them the needed ‘push’ to strive for success.

When it comes to relationships, music does so many things. It can bring back memories, help heal a broken heart and can also inspire you to be a better lover. There’s a saying that, ‘behind every girl’s favourite song, there’s an untold story’. I can relate to that

A friend of mine told me, that almost all Celine Dion songs bring back memories of her first love. As at the time she was with her first love, Celine Dion songs were enjoying airplay on the radio stations from back then( raypower, rhythm fm and metro fm) and that was what they listened to, together.
Whenever I hear ‘Run-away’ by Styl-plus, there is a certain picture that comes to my mind. Music brings back memories especially if you are/were with someone who shares/shared the same passsion for music as you do. We tend to associate some kind of emotions to most of the songs we sing or listen to.

Music also possesses a healing power. Most times when people go through heart break, they run to the likes of Adele, Boys II men, Katy Perry or Taylor Swift. Usually, they say the lyrics of such songs reach deep into their soul and helps them feel better.

Music also helps relieve us from the stress of our daily lives and takes us back to places of excitement and pleasant memories which different songs help us remember. It affects our moods and our thinking in various ways.

Earlier on this year, I met a lady who told me,‘Best thing I never had’ by Beyonce was the perfect song for her situation. Without the need for her to explain, I already had an idea of the situation. We all have tunes stuck in our heads. Some of them remind us of friends, places, events, childhood experiences and some remind us of love-lost.

Although, it is not easy to parse how music evokes memories but I’m sure y’all will agree with me, that music possesses the power to take us back to revisit our past and helps us maintain new memories. I believe music holds a key to old memories.

Lets hear you; what does music do to you? Inspire? Entertain? Heal? Revive?
Does it bring back old memories to you? Did music help heal your broken heart at any point in time? Read, share and comment.

Welcome to DECEMBER!!!
Chicken,Cake and Creamy Edibles
Don’t just decorate your house, decorate a life.
Have a great week!
Love,
L’queen

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This article was written by Tolulope L’queen Lemikan.
Tolu is a writer, with passion for the subject “LOVE”, she is a freelance writer on relationships for some other blogs and magazines.
Follow her on twitter: @lqueeen

HELP!! I’M TRAPPED IN THE FRIEND ZONE


“Friend zone refers to a platonic relationship where one person wishes to enter into a romantic relationship but the other doesn’t ” – Wikipedia.

“If one can become your friend he/she can easily become your life partner” – Michael Jackson.

After a hectic day of hustle on the streets of Lagos, coupled with crazy traffic, I got home at 9:45pm feeling like planet earth was placed on my shoulders. I decided to take a shower and end the day by going to bed earlier than usual. As I was slipping into my night wear, my phone started crying (ringing) from inside my bag, I just ignored it and continued with what I was doing. When it didn’t stop after the second ring, I reluctantly decided to pick it up.

Alas! It was my older cousin Jibola calling, I haven’t seen Jibola for almost 2years and I was happy to hear from him, even in my tired state.
“What’s up Coz”, I said in a very happy tone. “I’m not too ok jor, we need to talk”, Jibola said in a serious tone.
By the sound of his voice, I could tell that the call was not centered on knowing how I was doing, my cousin had something on his mind and that something was really serious.

He narrated the story of how he has been friends with this Moyin girl for 5years and over the years, he has become so drawn to her, more than anyone else. Although, Moyin dated other guys all the while, he still had his place in her life as “best male friend”.

The main issue now is, Jibola (now a grown man) is ready for a serious relationship, but his friend (Moyin) is stuck in an unhealthy relationship and she doesn’t even seem to realize it.

“Tolu, I can’t continue to see her get hurt in the hands of these other guys, when she’s the only one I have ever loved”, Jibola said to me.

That statement touched me so much, from the sound of my cousin’s voice I could tell that he was really hurt.
As time went on, Jibola and I were able to discuss and find out ways to help him escape the friend zone trap(Hey! hang on, I’ll share the tips). To cut the long story short, Jibola and Moyin are together now. And guess what? He has proposed to her *winks*.

It is not uncommon to hear young people talk about the “friend zone” these days. For some people, the switch from friend to lover isn’t so easy. I usually enjoy Friend Zone on MTV; I see the pain in the eyes of the person when his/her friend rejects the offer to turn their friendship into a relationship. Usually, they say it’s because they don’t want to ruin the friendship.
What are your thoughts about this? Does the switch always ruin the friendship?

HOW CAN I ESCAPE THIS ‘FRIEND ZONE’ THING?

So, are you trapped in the closet? – erm sorry, I mean… in the friend zone?
Awwww…Ok let’s talk about the escape route from the friend zone, my cousin and I were able to dig some things out at that time and luckily,it worked for him.

I’ll share some with you; first let me say you have to realize that every relationship (friendship, customer/client to organization, man to woman e.t.c) is a negotiation. However, when the terms and conditions of such a negotiation is about to change, it is essential that each party must be well informed. That’s the re-negotiation stage.
I’ll also like to add that, most times, people get trapped in the friend zone, because they are meeting the needs of the other party and they on the other hand, are not satisfied.

Try the following recommended tips by Jeremy Nicholson (the attraction doctor):

    Make yourself scarce: when you are too available to your friend, soon you’ll be taken for granted. Try and occupy yourself with other things.

    Act less interested: Don’t always show interest in what he/she is doing. Sometimes you can decline an invitation to go out with him/her, by giving excuse of another engagement (something irrelevant).

    Create competition: Make other friends and hang out with them often, naturally, this will affect your friend a little. People tend to give more value to something they think they might lose.

    Get the other person to invest: Don’t always be the giver, allow your friend to do things for you and make sacrifices for you as well.

    Be rewarding: Show appreciation when he/she does things for you and make it clear that it means a lot to you that he/she is there for you. Don’t see it as right, it’s a benefit of true friendship.

I believe that by applying the above tips, you will be able to create balance in the value and exchange of friendship between you and the person. It will make your friend realize how valuable you are.

Once that is established, you can take a bold step to express your feelings to your friend. You may decide to do it directly or indirectly. You can ask for a date and express your feelings. You can also decide to do it indirectly by using a card or a message. Personally, I prefer the direct approach to this;because it will make him/her take you seriously. This can only work if you have made your friend realize your worth and what you really are to him/her.

I wish you the best, it works for some and for some it doesn’t but you can never tell, until you do something about it. No one likes to stay in a forever friend zone. There’s no harm in trying. No matter the outcome, you’ll be able to make him/her realize how valuable you are.
All the best!! *winks*
“Love is an everlasting friendship” – Jackie Chan.

Read the post, share the post and I’ll really like to hear your views, comments and opinions on the friend zone. You could also share your experiences and how you were able to escape….you might help someone out too.
Have a great week.
Love,
L’queen

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This article was written by Tolulope L’queen Lemikan.
Tolu is a writer, with passion for the subject “LOVE”, she is a freelance writer on relationships for some other blogs and magazines.
Follow her on twitter: @lqueeen

Let’s Hear You: Mr. & Mrs. RIGHT.

“There’s a difference between what we look for, what we settle for and what we are meant for”.

Some readers sent me e-mails saying most of my articles have been a little too serious recently, so let’s talk about something a little fun this week.
I was privileged to go into the clothing business at some point in my life, asides the fact that I had to work with guys almost everyday, I learnt so many things from them.

On this fateful day, we had just finished a mass production of tee-shirts for an event,hungry and tired from not getting enough sleep at night,we decided to have brunch. While having brunch,the most exciting part of our work started, “discussion time”.
The food led to our discussion and before long, each guy started listing out qualities he thinks his “Mrs. RIGHT” must possess. They listed on and on and on, while I sat there, listening and watching their expressions with tears in my eyes from too much laughter.
At the end of the discussion, I was able to pick out the Highest Common Factors (HCF) from each guy’s list.
The following made the HCF:

Educated;
Beautiful (inside and out);
Fun to be with;
Must have some junk in the trunk
(curvy);
Must be able to make it happen in the bedroom and kitchen (very important).

The above qualities were present in the list of 8 different guys.

Another day,while at a friend’s birthday lunch, I started the same discussion with my female friends.
You should know the usual with ladies *winks*. “Mr. RIGHT” must be: Tall, Dark, Handsome, God-fearing, well toned muscles, great career….the list is endless.

From the two scenarios, it’s obvious both sexes (male&female) have pictures of the ideal lover in their heads. The kind of fantasy criterion put into our brains,thanks to Hollywood and Harlequin novels.

I don’t know if anyone else will agree with me on this, but I’ve come to discover that the cards don’t always turn in our favour. We spend so much time painting pictures of how our Mr/Mrs Right must look like and sometimes we lose sight of what we really need, while looking out for what we want. At the end of the day, we will discover that those standards or the so-called criteria we held on to,are very amendable.

Now my question is, those people who ended up getting married to people who are not actually prototypes of the “criteria” they set as singles;
Does that mean they have settled for less?
Or is it that when time flies and desperation sets in, people just go for “any one wey come I don dey old?”

What are your thoughts on this? In my opinion, I’ll say our own plans are very different from what God has prepared for us.

“A man plans his way but the Lord directs his steps” Proverbs 16:9 NKJV

A friend of mine always says, “there’s a difference between what we look for, what we settle for and what we are meant for”.

Dear esteemed reader, what are your thoughts on this? Do you think they settled for less? Is it time and desperation that changes the criterion? Or do you think it’s love that changes it all?
Let’s hear you, read the post, share the post and drop your comments…you might touch a life by your comments. Y’heard?

Have a great week ahead.
Love,
L’queen

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This article was written by Toluwalope L’queen Lemikan.
Tolu is a writer, with passion for the subject “love”, she is a freelance writer on relationships for some other blogs and magazines.
Follow her on twitter: @lqueeen

Heart Healing: WHEN YOUR GOOD IS NOT ENOUGH

I had written a couple of articles over the past week and I just felt one of them will grace the pages of my blog this week but as I thought about today, I felt the need to write something fresh.

We’ve all read and heard so much on how to give your best to make a relationship work…good stuff I must agree. However, what I want to talk about today is a tad different from that.

Human wants are insatiable and both men and women have pictures on what they want in a relationship.

In relationships, a lot of us give a 110% with the hope that we’ll receive a “good measure in return”, sometimes that never happens. Instead, you are fed back with something that “shakes” you up and to say the worst, sometimes you get “run-over” by the very person you did your best to please.

Recently, a friend told me of how his lady said she felt incomplete in their relationship,despite the fact that he had put in his all to please her. She still wasn’t happy and gradually she started drifting away giving excuses about distance and financial issues. He confessed to me that he was in love with her but it hurt to hear that his best wasn’t good enough to satisfy her.

Just like my friend, there are so many people who feel like no matter what, they are just not good enough. If after doing all the nice little things you can, you are still unable to make your partner happy then I think something is up. In my opinion there are 2 things involved;
Its either you are already in some sort of competition to win his/her heart in which the other person is already winning OR its just not meant to be, because no matter how hard you try “Akamu and Ewedu” can never go well together.
Instead of sulking and engaging in self pity,what do you do?
LOVE YOURSELF
God has made each and every individual unique in their own way and no-one is perfect.
Do your best while you are still given the chance to, hopefully they might see it but if not…don’t blame yourself for it.

It might not be that something is wrong with you, it might just be that the relationship wasn’t even meant to be.
In such situations, its hard to accept reality but if you don’t pick yourself up when you are knocked down,you’ll definitely remain on the ground.

If its meant to be,they will realize your worth just in time but if not, you will meet the one who loves you for you, deserves your love and will appreciate the good in your goodie bag.

Let’s learn to let go and Let God.
He alone has all the answers we seek.

Have an amazing week.

Love,
L’queen